"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/05/2018 at 10:16 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire
12
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"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/05/2018 at 10:16 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire | 12
| 6 |
Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! Still looking for a plunger that covers those low-flow trapways.
1 st Wipe : FCA in trouble for VW-style emissions cheats on Ram Diesels. Maybe instead of peeing on Ford and Chevy, Calvin should pee into a DPF tank.
2 nd Wipe : Ram also in trouble for sampling MLK speech in Super Bowl ad, failing to realize that speech came from sermon deriding advertising and consumerism.
3 rd Wipe : Investors demand more details from Ford, specifically about how Underpants will turn into Profit.
4 th Wipe : Buick won’t even call the Regal TourX a wagon, as industry continues to hide from “old-fashioned” nomenclature. Meanwhile, nostalgia for every other 80s-era concept is raking in the cash.
5 th Wipe : GM introducing in-car Marketplace app with voice activated shopping while you drive. If only your dad had this back when he was ranting about needing “another f*cking thermostat o-ring for this f*cking piece of sh*t Chevy” while your mom quietly tried to apologize for him.
Flush : Andres Citroen was born on this day in 1878. When his parents first saw him, they broke down.
Sir Halffast
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/05/2018 at 10:22 |
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Five wipes? Dude, you need some Metamucil.
WilliamsSW
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/05/2018 at 10:23 |
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This is one of your best yet - - especially the Flush.
Spanfeller is a twat
> Sir Halffast
02/05/2018 at 10:25 |
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I’ll get worried one Jalopnik starts using more modern ten or eight gears...
Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/05/2018 at 10:25 |
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So good.
benjrblant
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/05/2018 at 10:27 |
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4th Wipe: Come along now, a wagon is some sort of crap that “Old GM” would make.
random001
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/05/2018 at 10:35 |
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HAHAH! Well done, again!